Bye Pepper

On Sunday it was dinner at my parents. The hubby had work to do and refused.
I was 5 days post op for my surgery.

i had to go. i had to go say bye to Pepper.

19(?) year old Pepper. Lovely, sweet Pepper, that chewed and chewed and destroyed and ate our kitchen furniture (all three chairs and the table legs and corners...), my trainers, my brand new Oasis hat, till she was, oh, 7? 8?
We thought she would never 'calm down' and stop being a puppy.

And today, my parents took her to the vet to be put to sleep.
For 2 years we've watched her decline, drop weight, eat less, ignore us through deafness.

I'm sure in the past year she's had no clue who i am, she's run away and hid from me on my frequent visits, shook when she saw me.
Mum was hoping she'd go on her own, just fall asleep and never wake up...

But she didnt. She's too stubborn for that -but she could hardly stand, barely walk, she could barely even see, yet she just kept going.

This past 6 or 8 weeks its just gotten too much, doing her business inside the house, instead of out, falling over more, i think she's fallen into her food 2 or 3 times, so i've been told by mum.

It isn't fair.

It isn't fair to keep her going, and it isn't fair we had to put her down, either way, it isn't fair.

I'm crying now and its hard to see the keys, but i know. I know it's for the best. She can't suffer any more, and that's okay. It's not okay, but it's okay.

RIP Sgt. Pepperoni Pepsi Max, love you, go play with Lady and Floss x x

cacti chicken paprika rice

so tonight i made an awesome meal.
if i do say so myself.

im not one for measurements so i will put down what went in and you can go from there!

firstly i used a big flat bottomed with medium sides pan thing with a lid. its usually good for cooking soups in, its really heavy.

in went RAPESEED OIL, not much. then some AGAVE SYRUP, to replace honey i would have used, but the hubster is diabetic. then then went in some SKINLESS AND BONELESS CHOPPED UP CHICKEN THIGHS, and i put the heat on low under it. some more AGAVE on top and a pinch of sea salt flakes and then some SMOKED PAPRIKA called la chinata i think and then some Schwartz regular PAPRIKA. gave it a stir and on went the lid. alot of water comes off chicken so this is good for almost steaming it cooked. i threw in some SESAME SEEDS and about a heaped teaspoon of GARLIC PUREE and left it on low and went to watch tv for a few. i was nipping in and out a bit while i was making this as hubby put Castle on tv. i microwaved a peeled SWEET POTATO till it was softened and cubed it and threw it in the mix with a little added heat. the agave and chicken water was still quite plentiful and the chicken cooking, i turned the heat up a little and prepped the salad on our plates (bistro mix from M&S and sweet pickled gherkins, avocado and those cute mini oval tomatoes for me, and tomatoes and pickled beets for the hubster) and put some UNCLE BENS 2 min WHOLEGRAIN RICE in the microwave for... 2 mins!!! Lid off the chicken mix, starting to loose its liquid now and the sesame and agave mix are starting to go sticky, pour in the rice and stir till its all covered and lovely and mixed and NOM!!!

next time i make this im going to have to make a little more because we could have eaten this twice we loved it so much!!
i basically just threw it together, knowing i wanted paprika and honey chicken, but wanting to do it a little different as i had thighs to use and not breasts, that i would have usually coated and then fried or roasted. but this ones going in the recipe book!
gluten and dairy free!

Long time

hey guys, i have been rubbish at blog posting this 2012, I've had problems at work, I'm exhausted and I'm still not pregnant, but obviously that's not stopping everyone else around me being? ALOT of customers at work, and people in the street and now a colleague at works wife has fallen pregnant.
I know how Addison felt in Grey's Anatomy when she said she felt she was being stalked by pregnant women. and I'm not an obstetrician. but i do feel like they're stalking me.

is it too much to ask that, after 3 years, 10 months and 2 weeks of trying, i could possibly just get pregnant?

the hubsters sperm results should have arrived in the post last week. needless to say they haven't. which is why I'm with private healthcare. we'd have them back in a couple of days. and whats more, I'm going to have to go see an nhs doctor to be able to be referred to a specialist that does both nhs and private. private would cost too much so we have to go down the other route. I've not seen an nhs gp for over 20 years. mum transferred me out after our family gp refused to take out my tonsils. turns out i was majorly ill and when mum took me to see dads work private gp, he had them out within a week. lets see if times have changed.

my husband does not want to adopt. and id rather have his sperm than someone Else's, and i don't much think that he would be happy with someone Else's sperm and id really really love to be pregnant. just once. hopefully more times. i really want to be a mother. i don't know where we go from here.

hopefully blogging will become easier tho, as i finally, after 2 years of dealing with a broken laptop, have a brand spanking new desktop, and its awesome. and has windows 7 and is ultra fast compared to my laptop. which has seen better days, but i somehow still need to get all my shit off!

I'm off to Nice in France in a couple of weeks with Izzy and Fran. that should be interesting. I'm going to freak out. i don't work well in a 3 as I'm usually the odd one out.
we're self catering and the lady that has the apartment speaks not a word of English.
in a European City. a really really popular European City. how that's possible in this day and age is a mystery. i don't even know how to ask her for towels.
and eating is going to be a challenge. no lactose, no dairy, no gluten, wheat, rye, barley, oats, kiwi, mushrooms, lamb, aubergine... the list is endless...

its also proved pretty impossible to get to southern France. why? well no one flies there, so we three are going to be spending just short of 6 hours in Zurich Aeroport. lets hope its a damn fine airport and i can get some good grub and have some decent shopping!

in other news, despite eating the same, if not healthier, I'm gaining weight and my facial skin is disgusting. I'm covered in nasty acne. the time that makes you not want to look at the persons face. i do not feel attractive right now. and i went swimming with RedRiv and not have magenta hair roots for an inch or so, then orange/light blonde/pale pink for the rest with dirty blonde roots. it was very faded before but... oops?

Summer here has not been summer, its gone right from Spring to Autumn with some epic Winter thrown in every couple of weeks. i mean, really, wtf.

Easy peach crumble

To use up a can of peaches, I got out my lasagne dish and chopped up the peaches into chunks. In a mixing bowl put sine ground almonds and crushed in 2 Doves Farm ginger biscuits (remember to put sugar in, which I forgot!) And bake on 4 till the peaches are hot and the almonds are turning golden. Serve with ice cream or cream :) totally dairy and gluten free and yum. And perfect for type 2 diabetic hubbys if you leave off the sugar...

THE wedding

Heide. this is mainly for you. okay? hush now. :p

so. the night before felt like exam nerves, bu it slept . i could hear kong moving about the house at about 5am tho. so then i was AWAKE. i semi slept til about 7 when my alarm went off and i got up to get ready! bathtime!

izzy let herself in with the keys i had given her the night before, the boyf was in the basement, keeping away (we never saw each other from half 11 the night before til i set foot on that aisle)

then the florist arrived with gorgeous flowers, she had blocked Sam, my hairdresser off in the road while she was trying to park!

having my hair done was the worst. (gorgeous hair, just, the nerves! the girls were having to distract me!)

then the photographer, Vicky, and her assistant Gavin appeared, poor boy, the first time he saw me i was in a HUGE nude bra and wonder woman knickers!

then the best man appeared. literally i had Iz, Sam, Vicky and Gavin running around after me like you wouldn't believe, and Glyn and Andrew never saw me. it was amazing!

at this time, Guests were arriving at the Venue- for example, Fran and Lala (below)

the car arrived just as iz and i had remembered suncream. oh the drama. dad saw me, we almost cried. we got in the big posh car and set off, then had to go home, to grab the readings book! and off we went again. dad and i were, again, crying when i was about to go down the aisle, izzy and arthur went and off i went...

so there there was the register, iz and me, grandad and me, my parents and me and kong, and izzy, rocking out... and below is Iz trying to get off muddy sweaty Hunters after kong and i had gone for pics taking along a muddy pathway up by a bridge!

then theres table decorations, the amazing cake made by mums friend, then me and, what appears to be a FOLK singer cutting the aforementioned cake!

the eve do! the day was perfect, it all went to plan, without a hitch, sure, arthur didnt want to walk down the aisle, and we missed a couple of photographs, but so what? kong left the mealtime music in the best mans car and we only noticed during the mains. thats IT, thats all that went wrong . pretty good going. all of the people that said if i overplanned it i would be disappointed et al can go bugger off to the bermuda triangle. i freaking rock. i do. lol

and look. he even carried me over the threshold!