well...

we only went and got married yesterday, it was a truely amazing day. everything was perfect and went to plan.

more info and some piccys soon! x

FIVE

MONTHS

TODAY

apparently i hadnt pissed off the boyf. he thought i was ill and was leaving me alone

its been a busy few days. a stint in a&e with my mum, the boyf's 40th birthday, mums 53rd birthday, 2 trips to mum and dads house (i got to see my dogs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and work and alsorts of everything else!


i have new bedding on my bed and it looks fab and i dont hate it as was possible to. it is a vile horrible quilt cover and i LOVE IT :)

i have apparently managed to piss the boyf off to the point we're not talking. great

the ultrasound was clear and i now need the surgery to find out whats going on inside thats causing so much drama but isnt showing up. the ultrasound didnt show up jack tho- proof is that i have a cyst on an ovary and it couldnt find it- how they get pics of babies from them is beyond me!!!


im now on holiday for an entire week but it will be far from relaxing, i have like, 40 mags to read thru as i havent had time in the past two months to get thru them, i need to clean the house i need to go to brighouse to see emma about my blinds for my house, i need to computer shop, shopping with izzy, id like to see georgi- georgi are you paying attention? i have a ludicrous amount of washing to do due to my lights being off downstairs, but now dad has piggybacked that circuit onto another so all is well lit again! id really like to go to manchester, im going to harass my parents, i want to go to ikea and might be able to take a friend with me also cos i know she needs to go to get some stuff for her kitchen, i need to go thru my attic, ive turned it into a tip. winter and summer clothes need swapping over also.
i need to go to the farm and to see my family at some point!

sigh. no rest for the wicked

*supposed to be posted on the 17th but my net wouldnt work*


i must be due on my period because ive been a complete psycho today, shouting, screaming, upset, panicking, you name an emotion linked to psycho and that was me today. the boyf asked me 'whats for tea' and got a right earache.

off to see a specialist tomorrow to go about having some important tests done. have been waiting for this appointment for months! i have a feeling this is gonna all end in surgery and childlessness :(

where i live

[ the following sentences starting with # are cut and pasted from the panning permission to secure the following recreational area]

where i live is a predominantly asian area. a lot of Muslims, some Sikhs, some upper class and some student white English and this past couple of years, a new little group of Polish people. it is truly a mix! where i lived with my parents was predominantly white families that had been in the area forever with a few Muslim families.

B is nothing like SC or N (well im not gonna give you names lol. N is where i grew up, SC is up the road where i lived with my parents more recently and B is where i live now with the boyf.

this side of B has always been relatively crime free and nice and visually appealing. the lower half has always been rough, and last year there was a shooting and a man that was beaten to death. majorly shocking. this past few months we've been oblivious to whats been happening on our own street.

the street we live on is shaped like a ] but longer, and each arm connects onto a main-ish road. in the centre is some tennis courts and a bowling green. this is what our house looks onto. including a little clubhouse.

we've been oblivious because, from just around the time when our window was smashed, cars have been broken into and vandalised, items stolen and tires slashed also-

#The decision to erect a new fence has been made following a series of problems with vagrants sleeping on the land and also youths occupying the courts late at night and generally upsetting neighbouring properties on Ashfield Road. There have also been isolated instances of theft. The local Police have been aware of these instances, however, it is difficult for them to take action unless a disurbance is actually taking place. We understand they have also increased patrols in the area, but again it is difficult for the Police to prevent any issues because the club is for private members and it is not the Police's job to manage who uses the facilities.#

which, quite honestly is upsetting and rather scary.


Background
Oakfield Tennis & Bowling Club was founded in 1911 and is still situated at its original site, tucked away in
a picturesque, leafy square in Birkby, Huddersfield.
Oakfield is home to a bowling green and three tennis courts, two carpeted and one painted tarmac. In
addition, a tarmac singles court/practice area has recently been installed.
Tennis courts are generally playable all year round, due to our all weather courts, and men's and ladies
practice sessions continue throughout the year.
The club house dates back to the early 20th century, and whilst it has been updated over the years to
include modern amenities, it still retains much of it's original charm. It also houses a half size snooker table
available for members to use. Ladies and Gent's toilets are situated underneath the club house.
Oakfield’s well-maintained facilities and friendly atmosphere have helped it to flourish in recent years, and it
now has over 200 members. Oakfield prides itself on being a friendly club and is popular with families,
beginners and experienced players alike. New tennis and bowling members are always welcome, and there
are regular opportunities for newcomers to mix in and share a game with existing members.

it celebrates its centenary next year!! im amazed by this. and cant wait for my kids to have lessons! i kind of want to play bowls... and i cant see a problem with the fence. i totally understand the need for it, id rather it be secure

our holiday in bulletpoints!

• we went a day late due to the boyf having food poisoning
• we had a cabin at 15 Lake Beck and our back door opened into the forest
• it was at Winfell forest nr. Penrith
• Starbucks rocks
• we had a great photoshoot and the photos will be available soon!
• i packed WAY too many clothes. we needed half! (tho the weather was unpredictable so thats my excuse and im sticking to it!)
• the boyf is better at archery than me! i got a bullseye on my first shot and got progressively worse!
• i spent over £100 on clothes in Spirit in the centre
• the boyf bought me a union jack doggy doorstop (i already have a house full of them!)
• we took too much food
• my spa session was amaze-balls! i had a mud-wrap flotation thingy, which meant she scrubbed me down, covered me in mud, wrapped me in foil, dropped me into a floatation tank and gave me a head massage! 
• i got told off in the spa. apparently to go into the actual communal spa area you have to book the day. this is not what it tells you online!
• i bumped into one of the women that owns the hairdressers i frequent! she was there with her family and sister and her family! freaky!
• we went on a 'hawk walk' with Bob the harris hawk, theyre not native to this country and he was a 'teen' (very unruly, quite ignorant) that was a real highlight of the holiday
• the boyf, ive learned, does not like any activities, ever, unless you force him to do them and he ends up having fun. 
• i had a trike. ive not been on a bike since before i was a teen and came off in an accident. and even then it had taken dad YEARS to teach me to ridet. he had a blast this time round! the only drawback was that that trike weighed a tonne and when i had to go up hills... fail....!
• the boyf is a fish. he should have flippers and gills.
• he taught me to swim on my back!
• i went down my first ever waterslide! and then went on it again straight away!
• i also went on a really big flume-slide, which, tho i banged my elbow pretty badly, ROCKED! youre gonna have a problem keeping me off them!
• the rapids were glorious, had so much fun on them!
• the boyf wants to keep up with the swimming now we're back!
• Hucks diner sucked. tho they were very accomodating with my gluten and dairy intolerances
• after we left CP we went to Penrith for a few hours, then to a castle just outside
• on the drive home we pulled off at Kendal cos the weather was monsoon style torrential and the car kept floating due to it being a sudden downpour.
• in Kendal we popped in to see Kristiana at her new job! she was homesick that day, but it was really good to see her!
• i bought many many things. besides the clothes, i got 2 cushions for the lounge, some presents, some hanging things, some GF and DF choc coated biscuits that ive already been thru two packs of...
• i beat the boyf at scrabble by over 100 points
• we never watched the box sets i took
• there was a channel on the tv just set up for a badger-cam, watching a sett, on the night before we left, we finally saw a badger!
• Winfell forest is a conservation area for the red squirrel, which the grey squirrels kill with diseases and such. so its a really important place, we saw many! i was so pleased! we also saw pheasants, other game birds, and lots and lots and lots of birds, a few bunnies and random bugs :)

Center Parcs holiday!

these were in Penrith

me on and riding a bike! (theres a first for everything, and yes, it had 3 wheels, and yknow? i want one, i didnt fall off once!)

we were in a 'safe zone' for the reds!

the 'center' and lake from the pub

me after our photoshoot! (avec une starbucks iced tea...)

and the boyf with his latte

me, the boyf and Bob the Harris Hawk (not native to our country, he was a teen and very rebellious and he let me, and only me, out of the group stroke him, the owner thought it could be the fact that my hair and his body were the same colour, so he felt comfortable!)

quack

the view from where we were doing archery!

and some shots of the lake at sundown!

boomtown rats i dont like mondays

G "whos this?" 

S "bob geldof" 

G "no" 

S "it is! its bob geldof!" 

G "was it called the bob geldof band? NO" 

S "but it IS bob geldof! do i not get any points for that?" 

G "you can have half a point for that, but to get anymore you need to name the rest of the band!" 

S " this ones abba, angel eyes, 1979" 

G "well youre not having any points for that either" 

S "!!! but it IS!"

centerparcs

er, wtf do i take

the list in my head so far is as follows

food
washing up stuff
bath and kitchen towels
cooking stuff (pans/ trays/sharp knives)
toilet paper
cleaning products
kitchen paper


swimming stuff (goggles, shorts, costumes, underwater cameras)
walking boots, trainers, sandals


stuff for the photography sesh (black shirts and cords for the boyf, black dress for me)

hair straighteners, hair dryer, cameras,

bathroom products inc. make up

everyday clothes for all weathers

books for both of us (probs a car full but should be 3 each, the boyf will probs smuggle more, he claims his coursework for his law course, i say its a holiday, fuck off)

box sets!! (private practice season 1, greys anatomy season 5, house seasons 1 onwards)

board games and uno




what else?!

and no isobel, im not smuggling you in

my periods being perfectly mean have brought back the realization that i may never have kids.

what if that operation, the gynae did something that made me infertile, or what ive that pelvic floor infection i had that landed me in hospital rendered me sterile? or what if the boyfs diabetes has somehow made him sterile, or he has slow swimmers from his age? or him being really really hot all the time has killed them all off?
all ive ever wanted it babies. is it too much to ask that i be able to have one? and i want to be a young mum, not some old, set in her ways one, wearing beige with my wrinkles and my kids in disgusting 'old' clothes having no fun.

also no letter from the gynae professor yet. mum asked if id heard anything the other day. and i haven't. they're so slow at these things. i know its unrealistic that i get pregnant with 9 months to go til i get married but i want to get the ball rolling, have all the tests, find out what is so bloody wrong with my internal lady bits that we can get pregnant as soon as the wedding is gone and get on with our family.

none of my cousins have ever had any trouble. my cousins wife came off her contraception and was pregnant within months, without even trying, she told me that herself. ive never asked my others how soon they wanted to try but from an outsiders point of view there never seemed to be any bother.

mum and dad took years to have me. lots of doctors and trying.


surrogacy, IVF and private adoption are all extremely expensive and something we dont, and probably wont ever have the money for. prof o'd is expensive enough and paying hundreds every time i see him is not something i really want, but it is the cheaper option, and it is something i need looking into, and he is very good at his job. apparently.

yknow how i get married next june to the boyf?

well the week before... he has his law exams...

clusterfuck

today

all i want to do is cry.

my assistant manageress has been a nightmare

it was kristiana's last day

i ache

ive had a splitting headache

and the boyf was in a horrific mood at work and snapped at me more than once, so i snapped back.

and i dont want anyone to talk i just want to ignore the world

and to go to argento's steakhouse

ten months one week and one day

hold shit the time is flying til i tie the knot!

unless we do it sooner, in say, cancun or something

mmmm cancun

today

im on my 3rd debbie macomber book since saturday :)

im making soup

my car is having its seat fixed and is in the garage

i booked the boyf physio for tonight but he refuses to go

im going instead

work soon

i need to remember to get the boy something Will&Grace boxsettish for xmas, someone remind me...

i saw in a magazine that hatha yoga is good for your heart and for diabetes. the boyf has family health problems and is a type two diabetic, i suggested this to him and he said he may consider taking it up, one of his social workers teaches so he said he would consider asking her if he could go to one of her classes, i said i would go with him if he did, that it would be nice for us to do an activity together :)

i have been to yoga classes before and have never enjoyed it, but maybe this time will be different...

nanna

tuesday morning my nanna called my aunt around 6am, she had a fluttering in her chest. anne called my mum and nhs direct, who called a paramedic, who in turn called an ambulance, she spent the day and night in the hospital and was discharged the next day as she was once again fine... her heart rate had settled down and i went to see her thursday with a big bouquet and a card, she was happy and her hairdresser turned up so i left.

three oclock this morning (friday), anne and 999 were called, my nanna was rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack. she spent 3 hours in huddersfield royal infirmary, then 6 hours at a leeds hospital, where all tests and such were run on her, with the outcome that it wasnt a heart attack, but an angina attack, and she now has to spend a few days in the hospital where they can monitor her heart and try figure out how they can alter or change her medication so she can leave again

tonight the boyf and i went up to see her when i finished work and i took her some puzzle magazines (she is addicted) and we chatted for a bit, she had been ringing me all day requesting plain digestives to have with her tea so we got her some and came home. she is on a ward with people that look like theyre at deaths door and shes all happy and smiley

Sunday

Sunday morn i got up early as i always do, as i usually have to take the boyf to work.

cept this time after i dropped him off i went to the cinema... on my own... to see Eclipse, and it was fantastic!
i loved the movie, it was weird on my own but i would totally go to the cinema again on my own, ive only done it once before... i may make it a Sunday morning routine, actually see movies for a change!