the ultrasound was clear and i now need the surgery to find out whats going on inside thats causing so much drama but isnt showing up. the ultrasound didnt show up jack tho- proof is that i have a cyst on an ovary and it couldnt find it- how they get pics of babies from them is beyond me!!!


im now on holiday for an entire week but it will be far from relaxing, i have like, 40 mags to read thru as i havent had time in the past two months to get thru them, i need to clean the house i need to go to brighouse to see emma about my blinds for my house, i need to computer shop, shopping with izzy, id like to see georgi- georgi are you paying attention? i have a ludicrous amount of washing to do due to my lights being off downstairs, but now dad has piggybacked that circuit onto another so all is well lit again! id really like to go to manchester, im going to harass my parents, i want to go to ikea and might be able to take a friend with me also cos i know she needs to go to get some stuff for her kitchen, i need to go thru my attic, ive turned it into a tip. winter and summer clothes need swapping over also.
i need to go to the farm and to see my family at some point!

sigh. no rest for the wicked

!

i have heat rash grr.

i also started moving stuff into the new set of drawers i forced the boyf to build last night (he wouldnt talk to me almost thruout) i also went thru our original drawers and binned holey socks and MORE uncomfortable knickers. i have transfered my sleepy clothes to a BIG drawer in the new stack and taken all my knickers out of the 2 ickle drawers and put them into one big on in the new stack, my jeans are now in the drawer below them... ive always wanted a drawer of jeans. always. and ive taken the hanging shelves out of my wardrobe in my study (amazing the amount of room now!) i think i shall put it in the boyfs wardrobe for his jeans (its what its been doing in mine!) im gonna set off to work now, and i have pottery class tonight, so we shall see what i get done in the morning! x

p.s. i found out last night that a second ex-lover is having a baby. both of them very very non paternal (the first now has a 2 year old) and the second will be a dad very soon. and heres me desperate for a baby and NOT falling pregnant.

sucks

the return of... fatbag!

i got fatbag out of the attic, fatbag is actually 2 plastic crates and a bag some pillows came in... packed full of stuff! i keep all underwear, swimwear and delicates in the bad, and jeans, shirts etc all in the crates. seasonal stuff gets put in as well as the stuff thats too big or too small, so i got lots of summer stuff out for this weekend, and.... shock freaking horror, i did something i never do... i had a clearout- i threw out oh-so-many pairs of knickers ive never even worn cos theyre a stupid size, shape or material- i tried them all on... i mean, why do i want underwear that fits me so oddly i get camel toe? or knickers that are really low on the ass that i have to pull up all day...? i also gave probably 15-20 bras of variying sizes to the charity bag! speaking of charity, i have a massive bag going now! woop! tho we also have a sizable stack of books in the basement- should i sell them? does anyone want any of them that reads this?


another thing, i went to The Gap just after xmas and bought loads of sale knickers- they have now become me faves and i cant stop wearing them, today i went back to a pair i used to wear pre-gap and i spent the day fiddling with them cos they dont feel comfy anymore... i have LOADS of Floozie knickers- i cant just bin them!

argh

today is going so slowly! i'm so bored!
i woke at 8 am and totally couldn't get back to sleep, so at half nine i finally started tidying up and clearing stuff up and clearing stuff out again, yesterday i accumulated a refuse sack of possessions i no longer want or need to take to the charity shop at the end of the week, tho i find it impossible to get rid of books, there is a little pile in there also...

i've had a bath and lazed in the sun in my room and read a bit of The Birthing House (getting creepier), i was annoyed the boyf isn't here to coat me in body lotion tho, so my body is dry...
i've made a vegetable risotto and some sugar cookies (which i shall ice in a bit when they have cooled and decorate- i know they'll be sickly sweet)...
i've bummed about online, i've put on stupid clothes (i so wouldn't leave the house looking like this)...

*fatbag* is looking quite neat and tidy. *fatbag* was a bag at one point, then one of those storage cases, and now it is 2 gigantic plastic boxes, on wheels, that stacks in one of my wardrobes (2x63l) that are full of clothes that are too big, too small, or out of season in one, and the denim/surf shorts of this and my purses, wallets and clutches in another. yesterday i tried on everything in fatbag and got rid of the above, i might put a list up of everything i threw out... and i went thru my entire wardrobe (quite a feat) and updated *fatbag*, and put other stuff right into the charity bag!

i get way too attached to clothes, but yesterday i was a bit brutal...
i've yet to go thru my jackets and such. they're in the vestibule.
i need to remember to do that!

i've listened to lily allen's new album today about 12 times. yesterday about 3. and yesterday i listened to pinks new album 5 or so times. they both rock!

i think my cacti have had it. i watered them all on Sunday (them being my plants in my room, 2 cacti, a weird hair-like succulent and a trio of hyacinth). anyway when i looked today, they've not absorbed any of the water, even tho they were quite dry and the weird cacti (loads of lumps stuck together) was drying up in its body, it kind of inverts... anyway, as usual, ive killed them all...