my periods being perfectly mean have brought back the realization that i may never have kids.
what if that operation, the gynae did something that made me infertile, or what ive that pelvic floor infection i had that landed me in hospital rendered me sterile? or what if the boyfs diabetes has somehow made him sterile, or he has slow swimmers from his age? or him being really really hot all the time has killed them all off?
all ive ever wanted it babies. is it too much to ask that i be able to have one? and i want to be a young mum, not some old, set in her ways one, wearing beige with my wrinkles and my kids in disgusting 'old' clothes having no fun.
also no letter from the gynae professor yet. mum asked if id heard anything the other day. and i haven't. they're so slow at these things. i know its unrealistic that i get pregnant with 9 months to go til i get married but i want to get the ball rolling, have all the tests, find out what is so bloody wrong with my internal lady bits that we can get pregnant as soon as the wedding is gone and get on with our family.
none of my cousins have ever had any trouble. my cousins wife came off her contraception and was pregnant within months, without even trying, she told me that herself. ive never asked my others how soon they wanted to try but from an outsiders point of view there never seemed to be any bother.
mum and dad took years to have me. lots of doctors and trying.
surrogacy, IVF and private adoption are all extremely expensive and something we dont, and probably wont ever have the money for. prof o'd is expensive enough and paying hundreds every time i see him is not something i really want, but it is the cheaper option, and it is something i need looking into, and he is very good at his job. apparently.
Showing posts with label Felicia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Felicia. Show all posts
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Friday, 30 July 2010
hello wedding day!
my heart is all bubbly cos of this! im so happy and so sad im not there!
Felicia - says:
WEDDING DAY!
sarah says:
yayayayayay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aw im so happy for you!
Felicia - says:
thank you!
I did get your text but it was as I was leaving to set up the hall lol
sarah says:
i didnt expect a reply, dont worry
Felicia - says:
I woke up checking the time every 30 mins all night hhaa
sarah says:
lol why woman why youll be all exhausted!
Felicia - says:
it was like christmas!
I just couldn't wait for today and kept waking up hoping it was time to get out of bed haha
sarah says:
what time do you get married?
Felicia - says:
2pm
sarah says:
wow glyn guessed that!
Felicia - says:
haha nice!
Felicia - says:
ok I need to go now though!
gotta get my hair done in 2 hours
still need to shave and feed the boys
sarah says:
lol
your beard going for the day :P
Felicia - says:
LOL
sarah says:
have fun sweets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Felicia - says:
thannnnnnk you! eeeeeeeeeeee ttyl! xoxoxo
sarah says:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Felicia - says:
WEDDING DAY!
sarah says:
yayayayayay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aw im so happy for you!
Felicia - says:
thank you!
I did get your text but it was as I was leaving to set up the hall lol
sarah says:
i didnt expect a reply, dont worry
Felicia - says:
I woke up checking the time every 30 mins all night hhaa
sarah says:
lol why woman why youll be all exhausted!
Felicia - says:
it was like christmas!
I just couldn't wait for today and kept waking up hoping it was time to get out of bed haha
sarah says:
what time do you get married?
Felicia - says:
2pm
sarah says:
wow glyn guessed that!
Felicia - says:
haha nice!
Felicia - says:
ok I need to go now though!
gotta get my hair done in 2 hours
still need to shave and feed the boys
sarah says:
lol
your beard going for the day :P
Felicia - says:
LOL
sarah says:
have fun sweets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Felicia - says:
thannnnnnk you! eeeeeeeeeeee ttyl! xoxoxo
sarah says:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Friday, 21 May 2010
today
well i got to work less than 10 minutes late, which i was amazed by, the boyf got here so fast!!!!!!! minutes before he arrived i was doing laundry and my parents walked thru my front door... i was all wtf!? but they were bored and came to do my garden. im just sat talking to the wonderful fantastic Felicia whilst drinking midouri and pineapple juice, im on my second (healthy pour)... if you dont already read Felicia's blog, you should, she has too sweet little boys and is getting married rather soon! sadly she lives in Canada else she'd be one of my bridesmaids!
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
hello
i am just chatting with my lovely friend Felicia and have literally just finished watching Julie & Julia- which i LOVED, it wasnt an up and down movie, no rollercoaster ride here, but it was warm and you felt for both the women involved and it was sweet and the food looked v.yummy! i also have a pile of magazines sat on my lap to go thru before i go to bed! i keep buying them as i used to, well actually less so, but i never have the time to go thru them anymore...
my hair looks so nice when i DO it, but i can never be arsed to DO it. so it looks a bit crap. so no photos. i might do it tomorrow. i think we're going to our fave restaurant. my treat. we havent been in months.
im no further along with the wedding. not really, ive seen som jimmy choos i like but i dont think i can warrant spending the £325 on a pair of shoes just cos im getting married. like really, that could buy the cake tower no matter what we make it out of!
the boyf got all excited and wanted to watch the battlestar galactica (furthermore called BSG) season one box set i bought months before xmas that mum packed and i found a few weeks back in a box... sooo season one, disc one, episode one... "previosuly on BSG..." what? huh? this is the first, how can there be this? wtf? so we watched 2 episodes and nothing, NOTHING made any sense. why? well because they did a mini series and didnt put it in the box set, so really this is season 2 isnt it? as they already did some episodes before, that would be season 1, or season 1 part 1, and the box set i have that starts with '33' would then be season 1 part 2. nothing on it says we should have watched 'the mini series' first. nothing. its made me angry, but its coming from amazon, to work for just £4 reduced from £12.99 (i should fucking hope so for 3 fucking hours for probable shite)
i bought another Ashley Jackson print (this one unframed- the lady in the shop was very miffed i didnt want her shit frame- she had to cut the back off it) Ashley was in his gallery when i went and showed me all the originals that he still has. theyre pretty good, i either love them or im not keen, i bought this one more for the boyf, he has a love of the sea, the beach, lakes, water, i do too but he really really warms at the sight of anything to do with them. so i bought a print of Ashleys Morcambe bay, you can see the mountains behind and the sky is dark and moody as it is. so its sat wrapped in cellophane and sat on my big white painted fireplace in my lounge (the mini print of the moors is sat over the boyf's sofa with the light on the settled water up the moors)
before work today i cleaned the master bathroom, im finding i have to do 'one job' a morning now to get stuff done. else nothing ever gets done, last week one day i did the kitchen, i mean, we clean it down in between, but this was a proper, get everything off, move everything, clean everything, minimalise, throw out etc. same with the bathroom today. in both rooms the only thing i didnt do was the floors, im not good with floors.
this morning i burst into tears. the oven did it again. it winds me up. it burns and destroys my food. I CAN COOK. i can, i make great food, i made amazing things when i lived at my mum and dads. cooking on their AGA. this gas range we have? its horrific. it never lights, it takes forever to warm up, it burns everthing, its not constant. the aga was constant. i miss the aga. so i burnt my amazing american bacon. and the second set of eggs i did over cooked. its a good job le beau was there else id have dragged it out onto the street and smashed it with a hammer. i would. i despise it. he calmed me down and cooked my food for me while i then played games on facefook (intentional 'f')
my cousin Sally and i took her daughter to Eureka which is an AMAZING childrens museum. i shall post some pics of Florence having the time of her life. afterwards i droves us to a cheap shop called B&M Bargains (i only go such places with my cousin Sally- she is a bargain hunter extrordinaire!) i got some duster mitts and some tealight lanterns and hit Florence on the head with a basket (she walked into it- just the right height) and then we went to ASDA which is where the SCUM OF THE EARTH do their weekly shop. i have a 3 door car and it had its first ever baby seat in (containing Florence) so we needed a parent and child space so we could get her out. it was sunday, ASDA was heaving. we drove round and i spotted a man loading his kids into his car. score, pulled in, indicated. then the guy 2/3 cars a head did the same and he put his reversing light on. i asked Sally if i should just drive in, she said yes, i did, then there was a smash on my window and an f-ing and blinding man screaming and shouting at me for stealing his space and how he'd been waiting for 'ten fucking minutes' and what the fuck did i think i was doing? i had to get out of his fucking space now and i was a fucking bitch- he ranted for 10 entire minutes all the time with 2 year old Florence and his 7 year old son (no need for a parent and child space) watching and listening. i mean. really- what. the. fuck. Sally i think is still fuming. and its Tuesday night. shes a police officer and couldnt do anything because she was wearing Fitflops and had Florence with her. we watching him drive round 3 or 4 times. i expected to come back to my car and have numerous horrific words carved into the metal work. tosser.
why why why havent they put Grey's Anatomy on box set for season 6? why why why, ive had season 5 forever. and we're nearly finished. i cant watch it online. the boyf wont do that. he'll get tetchy. arnt they on season 7 now?
anyway. this isnt getting my pile of magazines read and its 1am on Wednesday the 5th of May, for all those that read this and are still on tuesday time- May the 4th be with you! (happy Star Wars day)
xx
my hair looks so nice when i DO it, but i can never be arsed to DO it. so it looks a bit crap. so no photos. i might do it tomorrow. i think we're going to our fave restaurant. my treat. we havent been in months.
im no further along with the wedding. not really, ive seen som jimmy choos i like but i dont think i can warrant spending the £325 on a pair of shoes just cos im getting married. like really, that could buy the cake tower no matter what we make it out of!
the boyf got all excited and wanted to watch the battlestar galactica (furthermore called BSG) season one box set i bought months before xmas that mum packed and i found a few weeks back in a box... sooo season one, disc one, episode one... "previosuly on BSG..." what? huh? this is the first, how can there be this? wtf? so we watched 2 episodes and nothing, NOTHING made any sense. why? well because they did a mini series and didnt put it in the box set, so really this is season 2 isnt it? as they already did some episodes before, that would be season 1, or season 1 part 1, and the box set i have that starts with '33' would then be season 1 part 2. nothing on it says we should have watched 'the mini series' first. nothing. its made me angry, but its coming from amazon, to work for just £4 reduced from £12.99 (i should fucking hope so for 3 fucking hours for probable shite)
i bought another Ashley Jackson print (this one unframed- the lady in the shop was very miffed i didnt want her shit frame- she had to cut the back off it) Ashley was in his gallery when i went and showed me all the originals that he still has. theyre pretty good, i either love them or im not keen, i bought this one more for the boyf, he has a love of the sea, the beach, lakes, water, i do too but he really really warms at the sight of anything to do with them. so i bought a print of Ashleys Morcambe bay, you can see the mountains behind and the sky is dark and moody as it is. so its sat wrapped in cellophane and sat on my big white painted fireplace in my lounge (the mini print of the moors is sat over the boyf's sofa with the light on the settled water up the moors)
before work today i cleaned the master bathroom, im finding i have to do 'one job' a morning now to get stuff done. else nothing ever gets done, last week one day i did the kitchen, i mean, we clean it down in between, but this was a proper, get everything off, move everything, clean everything, minimalise, throw out etc. same with the bathroom today. in both rooms the only thing i didnt do was the floors, im not good with floors.
this morning i burst into tears. the oven did it again. it winds me up. it burns and destroys my food. I CAN COOK. i can, i make great food, i made amazing things when i lived at my mum and dads. cooking on their AGA. this gas range we have? its horrific. it never lights, it takes forever to warm up, it burns everthing, its not constant. the aga was constant. i miss the aga. so i burnt my amazing american bacon. and the second set of eggs i did over cooked. its a good job le beau was there else id have dragged it out onto the street and smashed it with a hammer. i would. i despise it. he calmed me down and cooked my food for me while i then played games on facefook (intentional 'f')
my cousin Sally and i took her daughter to Eureka which is an AMAZING childrens museum. i shall post some pics of Florence having the time of her life. afterwards i droves us to a cheap shop called B&M Bargains (i only go such places with my cousin Sally- she is a bargain hunter extrordinaire!) i got some duster mitts and some tealight lanterns and hit Florence on the head with a basket (she walked into it- just the right height) and then we went to ASDA which is where the SCUM OF THE EARTH do their weekly shop. i have a 3 door car and it had its first ever baby seat in (containing Florence) so we needed a parent and child space so we could get her out. it was sunday, ASDA was heaving. we drove round and i spotted a man loading his kids into his car. score, pulled in, indicated. then the guy 2/3 cars a head did the same and he put his reversing light on. i asked Sally if i should just drive in, she said yes, i did, then there was a smash on my window and an f-ing and blinding man screaming and shouting at me for stealing his space and how he'd been waiting for 'ten fucking minutes' and what the fuck did i think i was doing? i had to get out of his fucking space now and i was a fucking bitch- he ranted for 10 entire minutes all the time with 2 year old Florence and his 7 year old son (no need for a parent and child space) watching and listening. i mean. really- what. the. fuck. Sally i think is still fuming. and its Tuesday night. shes a police officer and couldnt do anything because she was wearing Fitflops and had Florence with her. we watching him drive round 3 or 4 times. i expected to come back to my car and have numerous horrific words carved into the metal work. tosser.
why why why havent they put Grey's Anatomy on box set for season 6? why why why, ive had season 5 forever. and we're nearly finished. i cant watch it online. the boyf wont do that. he'll get tetchy. arnt they on season 7 now?
anyway. this isnt getting my pile of magazines read and its 1am on Wednesday the 5th of May, for all those that read this and are still on tuesday time- May the 4th be with you! (happy Star Wars day)
xx
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