thats it, im sick of my skin!

i look DISGUSTING. ive bought a tube of Bepanthen and im gonna put it on my face. its worked for my mates dodgy belly piercing and it WILL work for my gross as hell skin

hello

i am just chatting with my lovely friend Felicia and have literally just finished watching Julie & Julia- which i LOVED, it wasnt an up and down movie, no rollercoaster ride here, but it was warm and you felt for both the women involved and it was sweet and the food looked v.yummy! i also have a pile of magazines sat on my lap to go thru before i go to bed! i keep buying them as i used to, well actually less so, but i never have the time to go thru them anymore...

my hair looks so nice when i DO it, but i can never be arsed to DO it. so it looks a bit crap. so no photos. i might do it tomorrow. i think we're going to our fave restaurant. my treat. we havent been in months.
im no further along with the wedding. not really, ive seen som jimmy choos i like but i dont think i can warrant spending the £325 on a pair of shoes just cos im getting married. like really, that could buy the cake tower no matter what we make it out of!

the boyf got all excited and wanted to watch the battlestar galactica (furthermore called BSG) season one box set i bought months before xmas that mum packed and i found a few weeks back in a box... sooo season one, disc one, episode one... "previosuly on BSG..." what? huh? this is the first, how can there be this? wtf? so we watched 2 episodes and nothing, NOTHING made any sense. why? well because they did a mini series and didnt put it in the box set, so really this is season 2 isnt it? as they already did some episodes before, that would be season 1, or season 1 part 1, and the box set i have that starts with '33' would then be season 1 part 2. nothing on it says we should have watched 'the mini series' first. nothing. its made me angry, but its coming from amazon, to work for just £4 reduced from £12.99 (i should fucking hope so for 3 fucking hours for probable shite)

i bought another Ashley Jackson print (this one unframed- the lady in the shop was very miffed i didnt want her shit frame- she had to cut the back off it) Ashley was in his gallery when i went and showed me all the originals that he still has. theyre pretty good, i either love them or im not keen, i bought this one more for the boyf, he has a love of the sea, the beach, lakes, water, i do too but he really really warms at the sight of anything to do with them. so i bought a print of Ashleys Morcambe bay, you can see the mountains behind and the sky is dark and moody as it is. so its sat wrapped in cellophane and sat on my big white painted fireplace in my lounge (the mini print of the moors is sat over the boyf's sofa with the light on the settled water up the moors)

before work today i cleaned the master bathroom, im finding i have to do 'one job' a morning now to get stuff done. else nothing ever gets done, last week one day i did the kitchen, i mean, we clean it down in between, but this was a proper, get everything off, move everything, clean everything, minimalise, throw out etc. same with the bathroom today. in both rooms the only thing i didnt do was the floors, im not good with floors.

this morning i burst into tears. the oven did it again. it winds me up. it burns and destroys my food. I CAN COOK. i can, i make great food, i made amazing things when i lived at my mum and dads. cooking on their AGA. this gas range we have? its horrific. it never lights, it takes forever to warm up, it burns everthing, its not constant. the aga was constant. i miss the aga. so i burnt my amazing american bacon. and the second set of eggs i did over cooked. its a good job le beau was there else id have dragged it out onto the street and smashed it with a hammer. i would. i despise it. he calmed me down and cooked my food for me while i then played games on facefook (intentional 'f')

my cousin Sally and i took her daughter to Eureka which is an AMAZING childrens museum. i shall post some pics of Florence having the time of her life. afterwards i droves us to a cheap shop called B&M Bargains (i only go such places with my cousin Sally- she is a bargain hunter extrordinaire!) i got some duster mitts and some tealight lanterns and hit Florence on the head with a basket (she walked into it- just the right height) and then we went to ASDA which is where the SCUM OF THE EARTH do their weekly shop. i have a 3 door car and it had its first ever baby seat in (containing Florence) so we needed a parent and child space so we could get her out. it was sunday, ASDA was heaving. we drove round and i spotted a man loading his kids into his car. score, pulled in, indicated. then the guy 2/3 cars a head did the same and he put his reversing light on. i asked Sally if i should just drive in, she said yes, i did, then there was a smash on my window and an f-ing and blinding man screaming and shouting at me for stealing his space and how he'd been waiting for 'ten fucking minutes' and what the fuck did i think i was doing? i had to get out of his fucking space now and i was a fucking bitch- he ranted for 10 entire minutes all the time with 2 year old Florence and his 7 year old son (no need for a parent and child space) watching and listening. i mean. really- what. the. fuck. Sally i think is still fuming. and its Tuesday night. shes a police officer and couldnt do anything because she was wearing Fitflops and had Florence with her. we watching him drive round 3 or 4 times. i expected to come back to my car and have numerous horrific words carved into the metal work. tosser.

why why why havent they put Grey's Anatomy on box set for season 6? why why why, ive had season 5 forever. and we're nearly finished. i cant watch it online. the boyf wont do that. he'll get tetchy. arnt they on season 7 now?

anyway. this isnt getting my pile of magazines read and its 1am on Wednesday the 5th of May, for all those that read this and are still on tuesday time- May the 4th be with you! (happy Star Wars day)

xx

i can never come up with a title...

firstly, thankyou to day old news
and Felicia for your sweet, supportive and encouraging comments, you made me smile :)

secondly, its 9am and im in the lounge listening to FLorence & The Machine :)

thirdly, :( i spent 3.5 hours in A&E last night, to be told they didnt know what was wrong, i went in due to thinking id cracked a rib and i wanted an x-ray and its the weekend so i didnt want to disturb my GP, as he lives in bradford and i would have had to drive over there... so we went in, it was dead, i got seen within 15 mins, had a angiogram (clear), was left alone for 45 mins in a cubicle while the boy was out in the waiting room alone, then a useless doctor came in to see me, was more intersted in a book he'd bought at Waterstone's (where i work), i had a physical, bloods taken (ew ew ew i have a hole in my arm and i can STILL FEEL IT) was finally sent for an x-ray (was wheeled round in a chair- for health and saftey incase i collapsed apparently- yet had to walk back to the cubicle on my own...), even tho crap doctor was very intersted in the dry skin on my hands, got sent back from the cubical from xray, a nurse realised we'd appeared, was left alone again, the nice nurse that took my bloods came back with medication, made me sign for it, then after i requested, she went to find out why i was being given meds seeing as my bloods and x-rays werent back yet... i was told they were anti-inflamatorys, and i had to take them with food 3 times a day, i looked at the ingredients, they had lactose, in, so i went to the cubicle edge and told the doctor, we had the screen shut after that (i guess you have to stay in the bed) the doctor then told me i had to take them, i was like, er, no, im not being ill for weeks cos of them, he was like, er, well i cant give you anything else cos they all have codeine (itchy) in and i havent the knowledge to think of anything else (well he didnt say that) and he ran off (probably to consult his BNF)...
finally they came to tell us i could leave- at that point i had to ask what was wrong, the doctor said there was nothing broken, and nothing showed up on my x-ray, my heart was fine, my bloods were clear and i could leave and he'd send a nurse to take my tags off (they'd asked me my name and DOB no less than 25 times, so why they gave me a tag im clueless) so when the nurse came back we were like, well he said this, but he never said why i was in pain, do you know? so finally we got that they think ive pulled the muscles at the top of my right rib and my sternum probably from lifting something awkwardly when im packing up books to return to sender at work. and he said i should take ibriprofen and see if it goes away, any problems and i should see my GP.
the pain has not gone, or eased with anti-inflams for the record. pfft, bloody NHS.

right wedding. there is a wedding fayre in town today, and i want to go, but glyn wont come wwith me, i just want... inspiration! i had my heart set on a black of midnight blue dress, but ive tried on slate grey and ive tried on ivory (both gorgeous) ive been reinforced that i look horrid in white and pink and red (my complexion is annoying but theres no way im getting a fake tan, its not me, so why would i want a wedding photo that looks like someone else? i dont know about bouquets (but then what would i do with my hands?) so maybe some baby roses and sparkles...? i know i dont want an overly fussy dress, im supposed to be the attraction, right, not the dress, and they over decorated ones ive tried on looked shite, where the plainer ones were pretty. i got a brochure thru for a wedding venue in the post (im ignoring the ones sending me e-brochures- really, what is the point, i want to look thru, not click next onto another photo), ive already asked my cousin and his wife if their son Arturo can be our ring bearer (hes SO CUTE!), Cerys and BF are to be my mini bridesmaids, but im not having any big bridesmaids so that could all go tits up as i dont think 2 children under 5 can stand all serene infront of a room full of people... i need a wedding planner...

:(

last night we went to bed at 10pm, and i couldnt get to sleep, so i read. alot. i finished my Jasper Fforde book, something rotten, then still couldnt sleep. so i came down to play on the computer, felt tired, went to bed, fell asleep but not right away, it was after 3 by the time i went out. woke today at ten. knackered now!

said today we could go to Manchester, but only if we went on the train, which the boyf is claiming is too expensive but im saying will be cheaper then parking, and tbh my chest hurts (will come to that) and i dont want to drive, especially now im tired!

so yeah, my chest, it so needs cracking, its killing me! you know when you need to crack a finger, or your neck or a shoulder or something? same thing but its like, the butterfly's body part of my breastbone, and its been getting worse for days, it hurts so bad, it even itches, wtf if you please.

the new manager at work is ruffling some feathers and im sure everyone is going to jump ship soon! shes the area managers pet and seems to be upsetting everyone, shes out of the office for less than 5% of the day, which sucks, how are you supposed to know what your shop is doing?

i need so spend less time with the boyf, i can see myself annoying him and yet i cant stop, i just want to be near him all the time, which i know is bad, he needs his breathing space and so do i, but its all just getting on top of me. the wedding is doing my head in cos no one will help me look at venues, everyone just says that its too soon (but dont you have to book, like, 2 years in advance to get somewhere nice?) and my mum especially wont even come look at dresses with me, she says its too soon (she wants me to get married in the same church she did and have the reception on the lawn at their house down the road whereas we're both athiests and dont want to!) we wrote out a guestlist and i think the maximum for, well, even the evening do is 70, the actual wedding, 55?

and i really really miss my dogs :(

its the little things...

...that piss me off

i hate talk radio, sport radio, plays on the radio, just anyone speaking unless its to tell me what the song was. the boyf loves this. and puts it on ALL the damn time.

i hate when people use headphones in bed- stupid, dangerous, bad for your hearing. and bloody annoying if im lying there and i can hear it. the boyf uses them.

i hate when people put knives face up in draining boards and dishwashers- dad did this til a paring knife went into my hand, the boyf, will not listen.

i hate when people take over what youre doing- im cooking, i ask the boyf, to make gravy or something, soon he's taken over. or even if i dont ask. mum is also a major culprit of this.

i hate when people take things off me- a pen im using for example, or when the boyf walks into a room, comes and takes away the remotes and goes and sits on the other sofa then i have to ask him to change the channel or the volume!

i hate dishcloths. i cant stand them theyre germ magnets. disgusting.

i hate when my routine is messed up, my inner clock.

i hate when people overtake you, slow down and pull off, or when they overtake you and just plain slow down!

i hate when people walk in the road when there's a little bit of snow on the pavement. especially when theres traffic. if i can walk on the pavement- so can you!